SOUTHLAKE – The home of DeMarcus and Taniqua Ware is abuzz with relatives, lights and a new Christmas tree.
Presents will soon be placed under the tree.
The Wares feel blessed this holiday season for many reasons.
DeMarcus, 24, was named to his first Pro Bowl on Tuesday in his second season with the Cowboys. Taniqua, 25, a year out of the Air Force, is working as a substitute teacher in a local school district with plans to teach full time in pre-kindergarten this fall.
Just above the fireplace sits a gold box, inscribed with the name of Omar Ware. The ashes of their son serve as daily inspiration and keep them grounded.
The Wares have achieved so much in their young lives, yet the gold box is a gentle reminder of just how precious life is and what they believe is a blessing in disguise.
The Ware family credits any success it gains to what they call an angel named Omar – their child who died five days before the Cowboys' first game this season.
It was the couple's second pregnancy that ended too soon.
The couple wants you to know a pro athlete's life revolves around more than tackles, parties, wealth and fame. Sometimes, it's about overcoming obstacles and understanding why God has placed them in your life.
"You go through life and out of every storm, something good happens," teammate Marcus Spears said. "The Pro Bowl doesn't have the magnitude of losing a kid, but it's something you can look at and be thankful for in time of tragedy."
The Wares dated for four years until they got married in March 2005. DeMarcus' life moved so fast after he was the 11th player taken in the draft that April. He went from an unheralded player out of Troy University to one of the top players in the draft.
"We were talking about after graduation for him that it's time for me to get a new assignment in the military," Taniqua said. "He could have gotten a job in the IT department through the military. I thought he was a good player, but we didn't think this."
Ware's new bride finished her five-year commitment to the Air Force in Montgomery, Ala., in the spring of 2005, and left family and friends for Dallas, while DeMarcus prepared for life in the NFL.
In June 2005, the couple learned they were expecting a baby.
The next month, DeMarcus had to leave for his first training camp in Oxnard, Calif., while Taniqua remained behind to find a house. Three weeks into training camp, Taniqua called DeMarcus in his hotel room, as she did often. This time, the tone was different.
"DeMarcus, something is wrong," she said.
Spears, DeMarcus' roommate, looked up her symptoms on his laptop.
"DeMarcus didn't know what to do, plus he's a rookie and he had a meeting," Taniqua said.
So she called her father, Willie Smith, a police officer in Auburn, Ala., and he called an ambulance.
Taniqua Ware went to the hospital with the only person she knew, their realtor, Gale Sloan. Later, doctors said she had suffered a miscarriage – common during first pregnancies.
"I wanted to take care of my wife but I was trying to prove myself. I felt really helpless," DeMarcus said.
When DeMarcus returned home after training camp, it was an emotional time, with a long and warm embrace when he walked into the house.
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NATHAN HUNSINGER / DMN DeMarcus Ware and his wife Taniqua embrace the positives in their lives. |
In his rookie season, Ware tied Greg Ellis for the team lead in sacks with eight. Over the last eight games of the season, Ware had 41 tackles, four sacks, seven tackles for losses, three forced fumbles and 10 pressures.
He was turning into one of the top players on the team.
This season, expectations were raised because the Cowboys moved Ellis from end to outside linebacker and wanted the duo to become a pass-rushing force.
Personally, things were going well for Ware. In May, the Wares learned they were expecting again.
Taniqua wanted to keep it a secret until after the first trimester, when most miscarriages occur.
"We were really cautious," she said.
DeMarcus left for training camp with the knowledge the baby was fine. Doctors told the Wares they were expecting a boy. DeMarcus and Taniqua felt the baby kick often.
Everything changed Aug. 23.
Doctors told the Wares there was a problem with fluid levels. The doctors performed additional tests that revealed the baby did not have kidneys.
On Sept. 5, doctors induced labor and Omar Ware, who weighed 16 ounces, was stillborn.
This time the Wares had family and friends around them supporting them. Julius Jones sent flowers. Jason Witten comforted DeMarcus; Ellis' wife, Tangie, sent Taniqua a letter.
"That was tough on a lot of us," linebacker Bradie James said. "We didn't know how to approach him, and I personally hadn't gone through that. So we kept playing football, and it can be a refuge, and that's what he's been able to do."
Witten said he just wanted to lend support.
"I just try to be a friend to him and let him know that God had a plan for their lives and everything will work out."
Spears and his wife also lost a baby prematurely – they are currently expecting again – so they could empathize.
"It's tough emotionally," Spears said. Having a child is "something you look forward to. You want to support your better half. The second time was real tough. It's tough to lose it the first time they did, but to lose a kid after it was alive and everything is really hard to deal with. You just turn to God in a situation like that."
DeMarcus had football to comfort him; Taniqua had family. Still, they will never forget Omar. The necklaces they had made won't allow it. Omar's face is on one side, his footprint is on the other.
The Wares don't want you to feel sorry for them because they are turning their loss into a blessing, and they won't give up trying for another child. Taniqua loves children. Part of her life revolves around teaching them. When DeMarcus was named to the Pro Bowl, he and his wife were on the way to speak at a Boys & Girls Club.
The Wares just believe Omar is in a better place and that he's their guardian angel.
"You have to move on, because it's going to be there regardless," DeMarcus said. "It will still be there the rest of your life. You can't dwell on it in a negative way. You have to look at it in a positive way, maybe as a blessing from God. He gave us an angel in Omar."
E-mail cwatkins@dallasnews.com
